I'll Admit It: Last Friday Kinda Sucked... Until It Didn't

 
Most folks I meet consider me to be a happy, positive person. "Enthusiastic" is a frequent descriptor. But even the smiley-est of us can have an off day. And for me, that day was last Friday.

I was overwhelmed and headed for a meltdown. I despised feeling low, and actually chided myself for being negative and questioning my path. Sure, I extolled the power of positive thinking and that "happy" is a choice you make when you wake up. But sometimes you have a day that literally brings you to tears — of frustration, anger, impatience...whatever.

However, through my sobs and rants of "I feel so lost" I realized something: it was okay not to be perfect and feel 100% certain of where I was going 100% of the time. 

Of course, my impatient, future-focused, wants-to-lead-the-charge-and-be-in-control self had a hard time swallowing that pill.  Was I admitting weakness? Giving in to some unseen foe? Me no likey.

Still, in this creative journey I knew there would be times when I'd question what the hell I was doing (or not doing) and why I didn't have all the answers right now.  But I needed to accept it. Deal with it. Embrace it.  Sally Hogshead calls this stage sitting on "The Throne of Agony" and with good reason — it's not very fun.

But without an occasional valley, I could never appreciate nor recognize a peak. Which, miraculously, I also did last Friday.

Turns out that someone whom I admire for her smarts and creativity dug my blog.  So much so, that she even told her friends about it. (Yay, me!)

I may not have all the answers in this journey but I'm determined to have fun along the way — even if that means getting "lost" once and awhile.

Dude, Where's My Spaceship?

This week I swapped cars with my Dad.  
Not because I wanted to, but because my minivan (aka "the spaceship") can seat seven comfortably and we had aunts and uncles in town.

{My 2004 Nissan Quest's doppelgänger. Stop drooling.}

Maybe it's the years gaining on me, but I swear I find myself still looking for my silver spaceship in a parking lot when I logically know that the keys in my hand clearly are linked to Dad's blue Ford Escape.

{My Dad's Ford Escape's twin}

The truth of the matter is, we're all creatures of habit and if left to our own devices, would probably keep our same routines.You simply get used to doing things the same way because they bring stability and a certain level of comfort (or said another way, control) to your life. In fact, isn't that why they say to establish routines with kids? So they know what to anticipate next and feel more comfortable and in control of their surroundings?

This little car-swapping experience really made me think about other routines in life. And how we can unknowingly and unintentionally slowly get sucked into a rut, believing that we have control because we keep doing something the same way, over and over again.

This is where you run into danger, because by always sticking with the tried and true, never deviating from the norm nor coloring outside the lines you cheat yourself, little by little, of having a richer experience, gaining a new perspective and broadening your horizons.

Sometimes that new perspective is everything. Driving my Dad's car gave me a new vantage point — I'm literally sitting up higher, seeing things from a different point of view. Sure, the ride is a little bumpier, and I have to be aware of finessing my speed and direction to get to where I want to go, but isn't that what life's all about?

This experience has inspired to move outside my comfort zone to try new lots of new things. Heck, I may even take a new route home.  Just as soon as I find my car.

{P.S. — Don't think the irony of the cars' model names didn't (forgive the pun) escape me, given my personal transformative journey.}