Most folks I meet consider me to be a happy, positive person. "Enthusiastic" is a frequent descriptor. But even the smiley-est of us can have an off day. And for me, that day was last Friday.
I was overwhelmed and headed for a meltdown. I despised feeling low, and actually chided myself for being negative and questioning my path. Sure, I extolled the power of positive thinking and that "happy" is a choice you make when you wake up. But sometimes you have a day that literally brings you to tears — of frustration, anger, impatience...whatever.
However, through my sobs and rants of "I feel so lost" I realized something: it was okay not to be perfect and feel 100% certain of where I was going 100% of the time.
Of course, my impatient, future-focused, wants-to-lead-the-charge-and-be-in-control self had a hard time swallowing that pill. Was I admitting weakness? Giving in to some unseen foe? Me no likey.
Still, in this creative journey I knew there would be times when I'd question what the hell I was doing (or not doing) and why I didn't have all the answers right now. But I needed to accept it. Deal with it. Embrace it. Sally Hogshead calls this stage sitting on "The Throne of Agony" and with good reason — it's not very fun.
But without an occasional valley, I could never appreciate nor recognize a peak. Which, miraculously, I also did last Friday.
Turns out that someone whom I admire for her smarts and creativity dug my blog. So much so, that she even told her friends about it. (Yay, me!)
I may not have all the answers in this journey but I'm determined to have fun along the way — even if that means getting "lost" once and awhile.
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