I'll Admit It: Last Friday Kinda Sucked... Until It Didn't

 
Most folks I meet consider me to be a happy, positive person. "Enthusiastic" is a frequent descriptor. But even the smiley-est of us can have an off day. And for me, that day was last Friday.

I was overwhelmed and headed for a meltdown. I despised feeling low, and actually chided myself for being negative and questioning my path. Sure, I extolled the power of positive thinking and that "happy" is a choice you make when you wake up. But sometimes you have a day that literally brings you to tears — of frustration, anger, impatience...whatever.

However, through my sobs and rants of "I feel so lost" I realized something: it was okay not to be perfect and feel 100% certain of where I was going 100% of the time. 

Of course, my impatient, future-focused, wants-to-lead-the-charge-and-be-in-control self had a hard time swallowing that pill.  Was I admitting weakness? Giving in to some unseen foe? Me no likey.

Still, in this creative journey I knew there would be times when I'd question what the hell I was doing (or not doing) and why I didn't have all the answers right now.  But I needed to accept it. Deal with it. Embrace it.  Sally Hogshead calls this stage sitting on "The Throne of Agony" and with good reason — it's not very fun.

But without an occasional valley, I could never appreciate nor recognize a peak. Which, miraculously, I also did last Friday.

Turns out that someone whom I admire for her smarts and creativity dug my blog.  So much so, that she even told her friends about it. (Yay, me!)

I may not have all the answers in this journey but I'm determined to have fun along the way — even if that means getting "lost" once and awhile.

Jump into the Dinghy!

Earlier this week I was having coffee with a friend, catching up and chatting about our lives.

My friend told me he had just returned from a weekend family getaway to Tahoe, where he had been eager to share a boating experience with his wife and their two kids. Unfortunately,  his young daughter was less than enthusiastic.  She was scared to get into the boat.

He tried reasoning with her, telling her there was nothing to be afraid of.  He pleaded with her — she'd love it once she just got in.  He practically bribed her, but to no avail.  She was stubborn, upset and stuck.  The fear of the unknown was paralyzing her and there was no budging her.

Or was there?

Exasperated, he confessed to me that he finally just picked her up and jumped into the dinghy, knowing that she would be happier once she was there. And you know what?  She was.  She relaxed, embraced her new surroundings and started to — gasp! — actually enjoy herself. In fact, she liked it so much she asked when they could do it again.

Funny thing is that my friend has been hemming and hawing about his own decision, and used this exact analogy to describe how his little apple didn't fall far from the tree. 

How often have you found yourself stuck in limbo, afraid to take a leap of faith and try something new?  You weigh the pros and cons, assess the risk and decide...to hold off on deciding. Oh, the agony!


If I've learned anything at this point in my life, it's to take the risk.  No, I'm not suggesting that you go willy nilly into the world without care, making haphazard decisions without thinking them through.  What I'm speaking of are the times when you've already had the hours of analysis in your head, with your spouse, your best friend, your dog, your toddler... anyone who'll listen.  You get to a point where you instinctively know what to do, but are just too scared of the unknown and not being able to control the outcome and all the possible "what ifs."

I'll let you in on a little secret: you can't control everything. And you can't possibly anticipate life's every nuance.  But what you can control is your own action (or inaction).

Rather than worry about what will happen 5 years from now if you make that decision today (pssst: you'll be 5 years older, same as it would be if you didn't make that decision), or base your decisions on the past experiences of others, remember this is your life, and for better or worse, you make the decisions.


My advice? Jump into the dinghy!

(And yes, I'm talking to you, K.)