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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Top 10 Things "Humpty Bumpty" Taught Me About Leadership


"Humpty Bumpty." That's the name of the co-ed volleyball team I've been part of for years. Our current roster includes folks with ages that span five decades, and none of us work in the same industry, but every Tuesday night we come together as a team.

Over those years, teammates have come and gone, but along the way I've made some keen observations on what's helped make us successful as a team, and what leading a team is all about.

1. Yelling "yours!" isn't nearly as effective as yelling "mine!”

In a game situation, communication is key. But it's wasted energy (and frankly, kind of annoying) to shout at your teammate to take it (the ball) when A) they're already going after it or B) it really should be your ball but you're being lazy and/or were caught off guard. 

As business team, the same holds true. Assigning blame helps no one.  But being proactive and eagerly taking ownership helps strengthen the team. The more you can anticipating your opponent's next move — and let your teammates know that you've got it covered — the better.

2. You can't score if you can't get it over the net.

In volleyball, you’ll never have a chance to earn a point without a successful serve over the net.
In business, you can have the best strategy in the world, but if you are unable or fail to execute it, it's useless. 

3. Showing up is important.

Typically, indoor volleyball is played as a 6-person team.  There have been times when we've had to play with only 5, and even struggled to get 4 of us there for a game. Is it impossible to win?  No, but it is harder. On every player.

It's vital for the leader of a team to be clear with expectations. Everyone needs to pull his/her own weight, and that includes coming together, even when you have lots of other commitments.

Oftentimes, just showing up is the difference between a win and a forfeit.

4. The more you play together, the better you play together.

It goes without saying that in sports, practice makes perfect.  For anyone that's ever suffered through countless skills and drills exercises, and never-ending scrimmage matches, the payoff was always better performance, not just individually, but as a team.

The only way to achieve that fantastic team dynamic where everyone is in a state of flow is to work together. A lot.  Practice until it becomes second nature.

5. Know your role, but be prepared to fill in when necessary.

When I was younger, I was considered, in volleyball parlance, an outside hitter.  This distinguished me from the middle blockers, setters, and back row defenders on my team. Each of these roles had a purpose and a specialty, and all were necessary for the team to win.

Even though I was an outside hitter, there were times that I'd need to instantaneously become the setter for a play, or fill in for the middle blocker. And on my team today that's even more pronounced. I'm one of the primary setters, but I also have to be able to switch gears and become an outside hitter when the situation calls for it (or when one of my hitters decides to set me the ball). 

As a team leader, you've probably assembled a crew of diverse specialists that know their jobs pretty well.  But sometimes circumstances (missed flights, illness, etc.) can throw a wrench in the works and one team member will have to fill in for another.  As the leader, do your best to make sure that everyone knows what needs to happen to be successful — and that they may have to step into a new role to achieve that.


(That time Humpty Bumpty won the league championship, circa 2014.)

6. You need to have a good offense AND defense.

As I mentioned previously, in volleyball you can't score a point if you can't get the ball over the net — your offense is key to winning.  But you can't underestimate the power of your defense, either. There's no way a team can be successful unless they stop the other team from scoring, and that comes back to a strong defense.

Think about your team, and who is responsible for your business's offense and defense.  Your outward-facing folks who handle sales and marketing are your offense. They have the highly visible plays and wins. But they couldn't do what they do without strong support from your defense — operations, finance, and IT — which protects the business and insures that they have what they need to make those plays and wins. Try to recognize every stage of your business process, and those who contribute in it, as important. 

7. Nobody likes "garbage."

In volleyball, there's always that team that will resort to what we call "garbage." It's that slightly sneaky, half-assed way of trying to score a quick point, often accomplished by not fully executing and committing to a hit. Worse, your team often ends up playing down to that level.

This is frustrating at best, condescending and insulting at worst.  Playing "garbage" sends a message that you don't really respect your opponents (or your teammates) enough to give it your all. It also makes you appear overly confident and pompous. When you and your team are facing a competitor during a pitch, don't get caught up in their "garbage." Always put your best foot forward and play your game.

8. Don't let a lousy call ruin your day.

It happens nearly every week. The ref will make a lousy call. And being somewhat competitive (okay, very competitive) you are not pleased. It's tempting to let it consume you, but holding on to that anger and resentment doesn't help you — or your team.

In business, there are times that your board, your manager, or your corporate office will make a questionable call. Rather than let it bring you down, you need to find a way to shake it off and keep going.  And by modeling this behavior, you send a clear message to your team that this is just a temporary set back.

9. Being a leader is great; being a know-it-all isn't.

I once had a teammate that took it upon himself to offer unsolicited advice to the team about how to improve. Saying things like "what you need to do is..." or passive-aggressively asking "you know where to be on the court when X happens, right?" wasn't winning him any friends. He also positioned himself as somewhat superior since proclaiming he reffed volleyball games on the side. Trying to give him the benefit of a doubt, I hoped that his intentions were good but his execution was poor.

By contrast, another former teammate (that had actually coached volleyball for 20+ years) took a different tact, consistently offering positive reinforcement to his teammates. He also asked for their feedback on what he could be doing better.

Guess who the team liked playing with more?

10. Don't forget to have fun.

One of the reasons I enjoy playing on my volleyball team is that, while competitive in nature, it really provides me with a fun outlet. In fact, instead of shouting "win!" in our huddle at the start of a game we'll often yell "fun!" to remind ourselves not to take it too seriously.

When you and your team are putting everything you've got into a project, event, or pitch it's easy to get caught up in it all.  When the craziness finally subsides (or better yet, amidst the craziness) be sure to carve out time with the team to let loose and let off some steam.

Winning (and losing, for that matter) feels much better when you've had fun along the way.

Friday, July 31, 2015

The Power of Unexpected Kindness



"I just wanted to say I admire you. You are kicking ass!"

A few nights ago, right before going to bed, I received that message from a friend and former colleague. I have to admit, it was completely unexpected but utterly awesome to hear.

There's nothing quite like being at the receiving end of a random act of kindness. And truth be told, being at the giving end isn't too shabby either.

Kindness First

A favorite LinkedIn Influencer of mine (and probably yours, too) is Bruce Kasanoff. In his newest book, Givers Deliver: Grow Your Career by Helping Others, he tells of his kindness first philosophy:

Every day, in the #1 slot on my to-do list, I write "kindness." Before I do anything else, I take at least one action that serves no purpose other than to be kind to another person.

Kasanoff explains that this practice of kindness is not only the best way to connect with other people but to make him feel good as well: "the more unexpected my kindness, the more satisfaction I will experience when offering it."

Science backs this up. When we help others, it’s good for our health and vitality, improving emotional resilience, boosting the immune system, and reducing susceptibility to depression and anxiety.

Even better? Your kind act could have a long-term, afterglow effect on your recipient.

According to Jeff Haden, author of Transform: Dramatically Improve Your Career, Business, Relationships, and Life...One Simple Step at a Time, (and another one of my favorite LinkedIn Influencers):

If you really want to brighten someone's day, do the unexpected. The effect could last a lifetime.

I completely agree, and can vouch for the long lasting, feel-good effects of unexpected kindness. Even if it comes in a roundabout way.

The Perils of Unexpected Rudeness

Years ago, way before we had kids, my husband and I were shopping for a new car.  We had been to several dealerships already, but that day we had narrowed the search to two brands: BMW and Mercedes. In our minds, they were nearly identical in terms of cost and performance.  We really just wanted to test drive them and see which one was a better fit.

As we approached the BMW lot a peculiar thing happened. The salesman immediately saddled up...to my husband. He extended his hand, introduced himself and gave him (only) his full attention and sales pitch. I was completely ignored, despite my and my husband's attempts to introduce me to the salesman, and to include me in the discussions.

As you might imagine, I was furious. As was my husband. During the test drive, I recall silently fuming and consciously making a promise that we would never buy a BMW. 

By contrast, and with no possible prior knowledge of our BMW experience, our salesman at Mercedes handled things very differently. As we walked on the lot, he smiled and introduced himself...to both of us. (I think he may have even shaken my hand first.) He engaged with us, making sure to check in with each of us throughout the process.  He was kind, courteous, and an attentive listener. 

Over the years I've told this story many times, mostly to illustrate how easy it can be to win someone over with simple acts of kindness. The power of that unexpected kindness was its ability to transcend the transaction and create lasting brand loyalty. Not surprisingly, we've kept our promise to never buy a BMW. But guess who's sold us three Mercedes vehicles and two others to our friends?

Paying it Forward is Contagious

After receiving my own unexpected kindness and inspired by Kasanoff's kindness first policy, yesterday I happily filled out an evaluation for my daughter's fantastic softball coaches, giving them the highest marks possible and taking the time to add a personalizing recommendation for each of them. And I've already started to think about what kind things I can do for others in the days to come.

I have a feeling unexpected kindness will become a regular thing...and hopefully, contagious.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

The Truth About Independence


This year Independence Day had a special meaning for me. For the first time in over three years, I was without a single, long-term client.  I was truly independent.

As my fellow self-employed consultant friends know, having a long-term contract in place can be golden.  The security of having a predictable stream of income in an otherwise fluctuating work environment helps you manage the peaks and valleys (particularly the valleys) of cash flow and workflow. 

But there's that problematic word: predictable.

If predictable's less problematic cousin, dependable, is the upside then routine is, at least for me, its evil twin. While some people thrive in routine, I tend to get complacent. And lazy. It's much too easy to get caught up in doing the same things each month, around the same time, just to check them off the list and start over again the next month. Time passes. Quickly.  And all those things you told yourself you'd do fall by the wayside.  They'll get done...eventually.

Now sometimes there are other constraints in place that aid in that complacency.  In my case, that long-term client I had also had a very strong conflict of interest clause in place that prevented me from taking on any other clients in the same space. So I didn't.  I didn't even try, because, let's face it, it was easier not to take action. And truth be told I had a pretty good gig going and loved the folks I was working with, it just wasn't challenging me.

But then a funny thing happened. About six months out, I realized that my contract was quickly coming to a close.  I asked myself what I really wanted: the security and routine of having a fixed contract or the thrill of venturing back into the unknown, of landing a new client (or clients), and the payoff, financially and psychologically, of utilizing my full skill set and experience, and perhaps even adding to it?

I think you can guess where I landed on that one.

But of course being independent isn't all bad.  In fact, what I love most about being a consultant is the freedom and autonomy I enjoy.  Especially during last week's holiday, when I was able to be with my immediate and extended family every day, despite having some work creep through.  It's really about taking back your power and time, and having a say in how (and with whom) you choose to spend it.

Though it can be scary at times, my independence — in every sense of the word — is something for which I'm truly grateful.